I was put on this earth to spend money, not manage it

I was put on this earth to spend money, not manage it. That's why I don't understand when my husband gets angry about my spending habits. For god sake's, he's a multi-millionaire venture capitalist! What kind of damage could my credit card do?

« Apparently enough to warrant a "credit card suspension", I found out after purchasing this tennis bracelet at Tiffany's. I was told I have "no respect for hard work when I pursue an impulse buy at $6,000".

"The fact that my birthstone is involved merits no mercy?" I ask.

"Absolutely not."

I also picked up this incredibly cute little necklace (which was priced a bit more reasonably) v


Nonetheless, at least I didn't have to return the bracelet, which would have been nothing but embarrassing. Whats the point of having a beautiful wife like me to love and cherish if I am not truly free to pursue everything I want? All my husband has now–who, by the way, by vow is required to provide for me and keep me happy at all times–is a depressed woman moping around his house, catching up on soap operas. (Which I am readily enjoying. Who knew you could miss so much in just 3 days? Babe is pregnant, Jack is dead, and Jess tried to kill someone again.)

We have a huge gala coming up this weekend, so I am certain the credit card suspension that has turned my life into a living nightmare will soon be replaced by gentle kisses and a prodding to "purchase the only dress that fills my heart's desire", one of my favorite phrases whispered by my husband. This phrase also implies that I must be the most gorgeous, most desired, and best dressed wife at the party. Which is what I do best.